Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day has a certain charm,

A scent of roses in Venus’ arms; 

A hint of romance with a dash of moonlight above;

A recipe of kisses on a menu of love;

Many look forward to this bliss,

Convinced they’ll finagle a kiss.

But, I am more than sure

With emotions less than pure.

Candy they offer, flowers and such,

Hoping for a little from far too much,

Struggling to find the right words to say:

A blush and a stammer never far away.

I have no reason for such a display.

Married to you, it’s always Valentine’s Day.

Holy Cow

I’ve been thinking about starting a religion.  I realize this is nothing particularly new or even exciting.  People start religions all the time.   In the last 200 or so years, new religions have been popping up regularly like acne on a teenager.

Here are just a few:  Jehovah Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventists, Mormons, Baha’i’, Christian Science, Rev. Moon’s Unification Church, Scientology and many more.   We know about them because they have survived.  Many others did not.  The Shakers come to mind.  My wife’s grandfather started his own small, liberal Christian group.  It died with him.  

If I’m going to start a religion, I’d like it to endure.  To accomplish that, I have spent a lot of time studying the survivors to figure out what they had that other religions did not.  I examined not only the newer versions, but such long-lived religions as Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Shinto and more.

The first thing I noted is that they share very little in common.  Shinto, for example, is simply ancestor worship.  Buddhism has no god; Hinduism has thousands.   Judaism has no heaven or hell; Islam and Christianity happily consign each other’s followers to their own hells. 

To me, that was the easiest requirement:  I can be as inconsistent as anyone.

What did they share?

1)      Holy texts.  They all have writings of some kind that are accepted as somehow divine.  I think I write well.  I imagine I could come up with a book and claim that some great power dictated it to me.

2)      Rituals.  All religions have some sort of rites that must be followed by adherents.  This helps set them apart.  Unitarians light a candle prior to a service, for example.  Catholics have sacraments.  I’m not sure what mine will be, but it won’t be onerous.  I’m not fond of ritualistic requirements.  Maybe everyone in my faith should know a secret greeting.  We still use the secret greeting of the followers of Mithra although the religion died centuries ago: a handshake.

3)      Some kind of belief.  It doesn’t have to be logical – in fact, illogical is a strong selling point with religion.  After all, how can anyone prove the existence of heaven or hell? Or that every Mormon will be king of his/her own planet.  Or that virgins await every heroic Muslim?   Or that Hindus are reborn to work off karma?  No one knows if any of that is true, which makes it perfect for religion.  I believe in taking cruises.  I think that’s something everyone can embrace.

4)      Obligations.  Every religion has something: no fish on Friday; fast on the Day of Atonement; no alcohol; walk around a sacred stone seven times; rest on the Sabbath; and so on.  I’m reminded of Woody Allen in his movie "Bananas" in which a revolutionary takes over Cuba and requires everyone to wear underwear on the outside.  I wouldn’t go that far, but I can imagine something easy to do, but distinctive.  Such as requiring all members of my faith to eat artichokes at least once a week.  I really like artichokes.

5)      Clergy.  Someone has to teach the faith and serve as a spiritual guide.  Otherwise, how would anyone get married in the faith?  In Catholicism, the priests are given special powers, but that’s not true in most other faiths.  I like awarding powers.  My clergy can fly.  No one can see that, of course.  They fly during secret, arcane ceremony that only they can attend.

6)      Promises.  This may be the biggest thing.  Every religion promises something.  In many, a believer will live forever in unity with a deity.  The bigger, the more impossible the promise, the better.  This is one thing I know I can do, in spades.  I can promise anything to anyone.

The successful religions are all built on existing beliefs, sort of adding new scaffolding to an existing building.  Or, in religious terminology: old wine in new wineskin.  This may be the hardest.  I really don’t want to tie into messianic faiths.  I don’t accept that idea and certainly don’t want that role for myself.  Messianic figures tend to get really badly hurt.  I also don’t want to link up with deity-based faiths like Judaism, Christianity and Islam.  They only want to fight each other to “prove” their divine support.  I’m a pacifist.

There are a lot of unusual religions to join.  For example, my religion could build on the Church of Euthanasia.  Its motto, “Save the planet; kill yourself,” says it all.  But, it’s a bit drastic for my taste.   So is Raelism, founded by a man named Rael (surprise!), who insists that extraterrestrial beings created human life.  This idea is absurd enough to become really successful in the future, but I don’t like anything completely refutable by DNA and science.

There's Church of Maradona, named for a famed Argentinean soccer star who apparently invested heavily in drugs and desperately needs a weight-loss program.  While hero worship is commonplace, I tend to shy away.  It can be a very tricky business.  Who wants to pray to Tiger Woods these days, for example?

Happy Science argues that in 2050 the Angel Gabriel will be reincarnated in Bangkok, Thailand and that, 50 years later, angry gods will sink the U.S.  That’s a good way for a religion to grow: predict something beyond the lifespan of most people.  And I do like Thailand.  Nevertheless, I don’t want to associate with a religion with such a dire future for my American descendants.  

The Church of All Worlds is based on a fictional religion created by a science fiction writer.  That’s similar to Scientology, but this one’s only sin is hypocrisy.  Apparently, followers are unaware that hypocrisy is a prime requisite for a successful faith.  I don’t hold out much hope this will survive.

Chen Tao started a religion based on the idea of founder Hon-ming Chen that, in 1998, God would appear on a television station.  Chen offered to be crucified when that didn’t happen.  His followers declined, but are still waiting.  Since 1998 isn’t likely to come around again, I think I’ll pass on this one.

Actually, I couldn’t find any faith my new religion could merge with that wasn’t already absurd, illogical and beyond plausible belief.  I’ll keep looking.  Maybe I should focus on creating a religion based on something no seems to have considered yet:  one that makes sense.

Bill Lazarus is a religious historian who teaches classes in the Stetson University Continuing Education Department and has written 14 books on the subject.  Books are available at www. williamplazarus.com.

Meaning of Life

No one disagrees that the Holocaust was a truly horrible, unprecedented event in human history.  Between 1933 and 1945, the Nazi regime in Germany killed at estimated 12 million people – the exact number will never be known – because of perceived racial superiority.  Close to 6 million of the victims were Jewish, whose sole apparent crime was belonging to a religion the Nazis despised.

When World War II ended, the search for meaning in this tragedy began.  Jews, in particular, sought to explain why God had allowed this to happen.  Orthodox Jews claimed to know the answer: God was punishing European Jews for not adhering to His laws.

That’s disgusting.  That answer converts Nazis into messengers of God who killed at His behest.  How someone can propose that idea without vomiting is beyond me.  It also ignores a reality that millions of non-Jews, who clearly are not remotely interested in God’s dictates to Jews, did not survive either.  Why were they punished, too?  Or, are only Jews expected to follow God’s rules and face mass murder of they don’t?  None of the people who needlessly died were pious?  If so, what happened to the idea of righteousness that informs all faiths and has long been endorsed by Jewish leaders?  In fact, Jews honor righteous gentiles who helped Jews during the Holocaust.  

There is a better answer.  There is no meaning to life, whether we are talking about the Holocaust or the random death of 12-year Bryan Griffin, a Florida child killed by an alligator in 2003.

It is not easy to accept that.  An Islamic student who has been discussing religion with me was appalled by the concept.  He could not accept that a “bad” person faces nothing more in the grave than someone who is “good."

I understand his concern.  However, who decides what is good or bad?  A terrorist, for example, is evil to those who are hurt and a hero to those who are being defended.  What was bad in one era may be considered good today and vice versa.  God would need very flexible standards.  How could He justify punishing one person for a sin at one time, when the sin becomes required in another era? 

Besides, we only have the human concept of sin.  The Bible hardly serves as a guide.  People pick and choose which laws they obey.  

To me, the only meaning to life is what we give it.  In reality, we are on a planet making laps around a star.  That’s all.  However, we can find meaning in what we do every day.  I find it teaching and writing.  I see some of my students moving on to achieve their dreams.  That is fulfilling.  I see other people who enjoy my books.  I like that, too.  Others find meaning through different activities.  My wife teaches; my sister-in-law drums and makes glass jewelry.  

It doesn’t matter.  What can only matter is here and now.  The great thinkers and guides from religion and secular life – Muhammad, Jesus, Moses, Shakespeare, Mozart, Locke, Einstein and so many others – found meaning in their lives.  Their efforts gave some to us.  That is their greatest accomplishment.  Just as we no longer know the inspirational forces among the Cro-Magnon and Home Erectus, future humans will not remember those we honor today.  Instead, others will arise to create meaning from meaninglessness.

I do have one caveat to this concept of nothingness.  Not near death experiences (NDE), which supposedly “proves” the existence of an afterlife.   Some people have claimed they saw a great light and were greeted by former relatives.  I am sure that the trauma of death activates memories, and that was what created the NDE.  Besides, some people claimed to have seen or heard nothing during their ordeal.

Past life experiences (PLE) divulged under hypnotism fails to impress.  Hypnotism, too, activates memory.

On the other hand, none of us can imagine ourselves not existing.  It’s impossible.  As Rene Descartes noted in the 1600s: “I think therefore I am.”  All of us have that inner feeling that makes us feel different.  Dogs, cats and other mammals, even birds, have that, too.  I imagine that, eventually, we’ll discover that all higher species share that trait.

Our essence may live on.  Since we are all a form of energy, it’s possible that we do not die – that is disappear completely.  Energy does not die, but takes new forms.  That would be true for us.  Buddha suggested that concept.  The Hindu belief system is built around that.  To me, that would explain ghosts, NDE, PLE, and other, similar phenomena.  

We’ll all find out on our own in due time.

One thing I am certain of is that we will not find a God after we die.  A dear friend suggested there is a God, but we, as humans, cannot understand Him.  In that case, what use is prayer?  What use is ritual?  What use is religion, which is based on the idea that we are in communication with God and that He cares about us?

That’s no different than having no god.

The sad truth is that we are alone.  Atrocities, such as the Holocaust, are human events without a God watching or caring.  There is no heaven and hell, both inventions to try to curb human behavior.  There’s nothing except whatever we as individuals do to find elusive meaning amidst the void. 

Bill Lazarus regularly writes about religion and religious history.  He also speaks at various religious organizations throughout Florida.  You can reach him at www.williamplazarus.com.  He is the author of the famed Unauthorized Biography of Nostradamus; The Last Testament of Simon Peter; The Gospel Truth: Where Did the Gospel Writers Get Their Information; Noel: The Lore and Tradition of Christmas Carols; and Dummies Guide to Comparative Religion.  His books are available on Amazon.com, Kindle, bookstores and via various publishers. 

Existence of God

In January 2009, Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger successfully guided a U.S. Air passenger plane to a safe landing in the Hudson River after bird strikes crippled its engines.  His skill saved the lives of the 150 passengers and crew.  This was the first time a major airline crash landed in a river with no fatalities.  

A nationally published editorial cartoon that commemorated the miraculous effort showed hands from heaven safely guiding the plane into a river.  Presumably, God was involved in rescuing participants in the crash.  The caption read: “Any questions?”

Just one.  Where were those hands when, one month later, a Continental Airlines flight crashed in Buffalo, killing 50 people.  While Capt. Sullenberger’s actions were heroic, it’s absurd to assume divine involvement.  Otherwise, we’d be forced to believe God chose to act in one situation and declined in another.  If that’s true, now the questions really start: was there someone or something special about U.S. Air flight 1549 that warranted divine intervention?  Was someone aboard God was protecting?  Are fliers leaving a downstate New York airport more valuable than ones that use an upstate facility? And so on.

Such questions point out the futility of understanding why anything happens.  After all, these were two of more than 5,300 documented plane crashes internationally in 2009. How many times did hands from heaven reached down and save passengers and crews?  

Once.

We can say that God works in mysterious ways.  In truth, however, Capt. Sullenberger had the experience and opportunity to save his passengers.  That’s all.  In the thousands of crashes, odds are that one such situation would occur.

The issue, however, extends far beyond a single plane crash.  The real question is: how much is God involved with human life at all?

If we answer yes, then we should see evidence.  

At a 2009 debate on the existence of God I participated in, one of the speakers insisted the proof of God lies all around us.  For example, he pointed out that the Earth lies in the exact zone at a distance from the Sun that allows life to flourish.  That the Moon is of the right size to support the existence of life.  Even in small ways, he said, God’s hand is evident.  For example, a giraffe is designed in a special way to give birth without killing its offspring because of the heights involved. 

Of course, he was quite correct that such situations exist – and many more.

He’s simply wrong about the order.  We are here because of our location and the Moon.  We would not be here otherwise.  That’s why scientists are now locating other planets with proper temperature ranges and expect to find life.  There will be life wherever the conditions warrant.  That’s abundantly true on Earth where strange creatures thrive in hostile conditions humans could not tolerate, such as recently discovered bacteria that reportedly requires deadly arsenic to endure.  

The same is true for the giraffe.  Giraffes, like all creatures, evolved.  Smaller versions have died out.  If larger ones had not evolved a mechanism for giving birth properly, they would have become extinct, too.

That evidence is all around us.  Right now, humans are evolving larger heads.  This, in turn, is creating problems for women because their birth canals are too small to accommodate bigger-headed babies.  That’s one reason Caesarian sections are more commonplace.  In time, they may become a necessity.  However, at least one female will be born with a larger birth canal that can accommodate the bigger-headed babies.  In time, her descendants will predominate. 

Then, someone can say God created women with big birth canals.  

Natural processes are continually making changes.  Sometimes, there are mutations – changes caused by damage to chromosomes or for other physical reasons.  Some of the mutations are benign.  A baby born with six fully functioning fingers will be the same as a baby with the usual five, for example, but with an extra digit.  

Nevertheless, some mutations are inherently life-threatening: children born with no mouth or other major deformity.  In nature, these children die; their genes die with them.   Humans, however, treasure life.  We help these children to survive through surgery or other means.  That’s why hemophiliacs endure.  An estimated 400 babies a year are born with the condition in the U.S. alone.  In the wild, there are no hemophiliacs.

Some changes are caused through evolution.  Evidence of that is everywhere, too.  Whales still have legs under their skin, proof their ancestors lived on land.  Snakes have hidden legs, too, reflecting a time millions of years ago when they walked.  Our DNA contains coding for tails, fur and other ancient aspects.  Sometimes, those genes are accidentally expressed, and babies are born covered with fur or a tail.  

In the womb, human babies progress from reptile to amphibian to human as if replaying the evolutionary process.  

This is a natural progression.  No divine involvement is required.

In fact, whether or not there is a God is actually immaterial.  Normal natural forces will maintain evolutionary processes.  Life will continue, constantly changing.  Those that survive will be those best adapted to the conditions, what Darwin labeled “natural selection.”  The rest will die out.

It’s all random, which is true for all living creatures and for airplane crashes.

Bill Lazarus is been a long-time writer, educator and religious historian.  He started teaching when he was 13 year old and has been rarely out of a classroom since.  He holds an M.A. in communication from Kent State University and is a full-time instructor at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University.  His latest book, Noel: The Lore and Tradition of Christmas Carols, was published in December 2010 and is available via Amazon.com or on his website www.williamplazarus.com .