Sinking Noah's Ark

A group of “scholars” on the internet have been busily trying to “prove” that the story of Noah’s Ark really could have been true.  They have been going through incredible mathematical gyrations to show that the number of animals aboard the vessel could have been manageable, since many animals, such as seals and walruses, live much of their lives in water.  

The fact that such creatures -- except for animals like whales and dolphins, for example, that have fully adapted to water -- need to rest on dry land apparently never figured in the equations.  After 40 days forced to float in an Earth-covering ocean, they would all be dead.

The “scientists” also figured the size of compartments and calculated how big a boat would have to be to accommodate the animals.

In their haste to “prove” nonsense, however, they missed a few key points.

Dining elephant

For starters, the beastly passengers have to be fed.  They don’t line up at buffet tables, such as on a cruise ship.  They typically eat each other.  Obviously, then, Noah and his few companions would have been very busy divvying up food stored on board.  

Modern ships have refrigeration.  Noah wouldn’t have enjoyed that luxury.  Sailors just 100 years ago could have told the so-called scholars how long food lasts on a ship.  The navies of the world depended on hardtack and salted meat, almost all of it spoiled and maggot-filled on long sea voyages.

Herbivores also need food.  Let’s see: an elephant eats between 200 to 600 pounds of food a day.   Try keeping that fresh for 40 days. Or the tons also needed for hippos, which live in the water but eat on dry land, as well as rhinos, giraffes, deer and other large critters.

Then there’s a little thing called genetics, initially understood only in the beginning of the 20^th century.  The surviving animals would have to mate with each other and their offspring.  The resulting inbreeding would have shown up in serious illnesses and genetic weaknesses, just as it has in humans who restrict their genetic choices.

Long way to hop

On top of that, there’s the obvious problem of distance.  Are the scientists suggesting that two kangaroos, for example, calmly hopped across open water from Australia, through Asia to the Middle East to catch a ride on the Ark and then, when the boat came to rest, hopped back?  Where are the bones left by animals that failed to complete similar journeys?  Sloths probably wouldn’t get very far anyway.

Did Noah make stops en route as animals lined up at stations? The Bible missed that tidbit.

To make the whole scenario even more ridiculous, the would-be scholars somehow ignored whole sections of existing life that would have been destroyed by such a flood, including insects, plants and bacteria.  Few species of insects live in water.  Yet, there are more of them than any other creatures on Earth.  Somehow, the millions of species of beetles, ants, worms and fleas etc. managed to stay alive amid the flood waters.

Desert blooms

Then, too, plants endured.  Few of them can live in water full time, especially in dry areas like deserts.  As any home gardener knows, too much watering kills plants.  Think what a 40-day deluge would do.  Bacteria, too, overcame the obvious saturation. 

To resolve such difficulties, “scholars” working on “proving” the existence of Noah’s Ark proposed that the creatures somehow went to a period of suspended animation.  Why not just say God can do anything?  Great, He could kill everyone without a flood. Then, there would be no reason to bother with widespread hibernation or other absurd solutions.  To claim that, however, would require ignoring everything from biology to archaeology.

Not that it matters.  Such “scholars” are motivated solely by their beliefs.  Science then only becomes a roadblock to be avoided, not an arrow providing direction.

Real scientists don’t have that difficulty.  They go where the research takes them.  If it contradicts beliefs, so be it.

That’s what scares the faithful.  Science, now armed with an incredible array of instruments, has overwhelmed ancient religions born in distant generations when knowledge was limited to the weak human senses.  That’s the real flood that believers are trying to cope with.  They can’t, any more than they can prove that Noah’s Ark actually existed.

Long-time religious historian Bill Lazarus regularly writes about religion and religious history with an occasional foray into American culture.  He also speaks at various religious organizations throughout Florida.  He holds an ABD in American Studies from Case Western Reserve University and an M.A. in communication from Kent State University.  You can reach him at wplazarus@aol.com. 

He is the author of the famed novel The Unauthorized Biography of Nostradamus as well as The Last Testament of Simon Peter; The Gospel Truth: Where Did the Gospel Writers Get Their Information; Noel: The Lore and Tradition of Christmas Carols; and Comparative Religion for Dummies.  His books are available on Amazon.com, Kindle, bookstores and via various publishers.  He can also be followed on Twitter.

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One Religion Stresses Education

A recent note in my hometown daily newspaper reported that Jews are the best educated religious group in the world.  They average more than 13 years of schooling.  Christians were second at around 9 years, with Muslims and Hindus in the rear at about 5.5 years.  The world average is around 7.7 years.

The short article didn’t answer the big question:  why?

For Jews, education was necessary to read the sacred texts.  The Bible wasn’t codified until the 4^th century C.E., but Jewish monotheism dates from the 7^th century B.C.E.  That’s when Jews moved away from the concept of a god who was one among many to a single god.  That idea later infused Christianity and Islam. 

Writing that later became biblical texts then supported that concept, either by subverting history, via prophetic claims or through fiction.  Eventually, those books were collected into what became sacred text.  There’s a long history that explains how the Bible came into existence, but that doesn’t matter for this blog.

Bible

To know what their god wanted, younger Jews had to be literate.  That emphasis increased with anti-Semitism as Jews, ostracized by society, pored through the religious writing in an effort to discover why they were being persecuted.  The text itself provides no direct answers, but required interpretation.  At one time, sages handled that chore.  Their views were organized in what is now known as the Talmud. 

Medieval rabbi

After sages died out in the murderous Roman wars, rabbis (“teachers”) took on that chore.  Naturally, such a person had to be extremely well read, intelligent and devout. 

Recognized for his wisdom, a rabbi became a sought-after mate.  His children carried the same allure, regardless of appearance.  As a result, Jews practiced natural selection with an emphasis on intelligence.

In contrast, Christians focused on the afterlife, the supposed heaven and hell.  Knowledge then had little value.  Indeed, the rise of Christian domination led to what is known as the Dark Ages, which were finally ended when Christian Crusaders were exposed to Muslim learning during the Crusades. 

Crusader

The most intelligent Christian men became priests, who were not supposed to marry or have children.  As a result, Christians bred out intelligence.

Initially, Muslims stressed education during the first 500 years of the religion’s existence.  However, as science began to expose weaknesses in religious claims, successive caliphs rejected learning in lieu of belief.  They closed the House of Knowledge, where brilliant scholars had gathered for centuries to share information and expand information in such fields as astronomy and math.  We still call numbers “Arabic” numerals, while terms like algorithm and algebra come directly from Arabic.

Today, still straitjacketed by religion, education fails to receive its necessary emphasis in the Muslim world.  I witnessed how religion muffles knowledge as Muslims in my ESL classes rejected scientific research in favor of their beliefs.  The same thing happens in the Christian world, where scientifically proven concepts like evolution are routinely spurned by the faithful.

The Jewish emphasis on education continues in the face of unrelenting anti-Semitism, while Christians and Muslims lag behind, still handicapped by beliefs that shunt aside knowledge. 

I saw this discrepancy first hand.  My father was Jewish.  He went to college during the Depression and insisted we start saving for college as young children.  Money I earned caddying, starting when I was 8 years old, went a college fund.  My three brothers and I discussed where we would go to college, not if.  We all have at least one degree.  Three of us have two or more.

On the other hand, while in college, I dated a Catholic girl, Karen.  While visiting her house, I joined a family discussion whether or not the youngest son should go to college.  The family also debated whether Karen should continue. The answer to both was “yes.”  Nevertheless, I was stunned.  That conversation would never have happened at my house.

In my high school, then predominately Jewish, had the highest percentage of enrolling college students than any other high school in the country.

The emphasis on Jews to get an education isn’t going to change anytime soon.  As a result, the statistics regarding which religion has the most educated members also isn’t likely to change in the near future. 

Long-time religious historian Bill Lazarus regularly writes about religion and religious history with an occasional foray into American culture.  He also speaks at various religious organizations throughout Florida.  He holds an ABD in American Studies from Case Western Reserve University and an M.A. in communication from Kent State University.  You can reach him at wplazarus@aol.com. 

 He is the author of the famed novel The Unauthorized Biography of Nostradamus as well as The Last Testament of Simon Peter; The Gospel Truth: Where Did the Gospel Writers Get Their Information; Noel: The Lore and Tradition of Christmas Carols; and Comparative Religion for Dummies.  His books are available on Amazon.com, Kindle, bookstores and via various publishers.  He can also be followed on Twitter.

Why is Christmas on December 25?

Lost amid the holiday hoopla, Santa Claus, decorated fir trees, eggnog and carols, there’s a basic question: why did anyone think Jesus was born on December 25?

After all, no writer of the time period gave a date for his birth.  We don’t even know what year he was born.  In fact, despite all the displays, images of shepherds, stars, magi and the like, we really know nothing about Jesus’ birth.  Early Church Fathers didn’t want to celebrate Jesus’ birthday.  The first recorded Christmas took place near the middle of the 4^th century.  As a result, any real information was buried under the weight of centuries.

Philo

To complicate matters, no historian of the time period, Jewish or Roman, mentioned Jesus.  None knew he existed as a child or an adult, not even Philo, the great Jewish philosopher from Alexandria who died in 41 C.E.  He longed for evidence of God’s existence and even created the image of a living word, which John picked up to begin his Gospel: “In the beginning, there was the word …”

The only texts that give us any information on Jesus are the four Gospels.  Only two of them, Matthew and Luke, provide birth stories.  However, they contradict each other, rendering their accounts useless as historical guides.

In Matthew, great kings from the East follow a star first to Jerusalem where King Herod greets them and then to Bethlehem.  They worship the newborn baby and bring fabulous gifts. Herod is so upset that the future king has been born that he tries to kill all the children.  So, Mary and Joseph must take Jesus and flee to Egypt.

The problems with that tale are legion:  Just for starters, no star is capable of guiding anyone.  In addition, astronomers of the day, an era when the skies were watched closely, somehow missed it. 

To get around that, some apologists have suggested the kings were aware of the Jewish myth that the formation of certain stars presages the birth of a monarch.  That, too, is absurd. Astrology has long been proven inaccurate.  Also, that same formation has occurred multiple times in human history without anyone suggesting another messiah was born.

Magi?

Finally, the kings were called magi, meaning that they believed in the Zoroastrian faith.  Why they would know a Jewish myth or care if a Jewish king was born remains a mystery.  On top of that, their gifts would have made the family wealthy, so the Roman Catholic Church was obligated later to claim that Joseph and Mary gave the gifts to a “poor” family.

Actually, Matthew was drawing on stories of how the sons of Roman emperors were welcomed into the world: foreign kings brought them the gifts ascribed to the Holy Family – gold, frankincense and myrrh.

Moreover, Matthew was comparing Jesus to Moses.  He was writing to Jews in Egypt, refugees from the war against the Roman from 66 to 73 that leveled Jerusalem, killed an estimated 1 million Judeans, sent another 1 million fleeing to other countries and enslaved 1 million more.

Herod

Matthew wanted them to believe that if the refugees followed Jesus, he would lead them back home.

The only valid element in his story is King Herod, who died in 4 B.C.E.

In contrast, Luke has the family caught up in a census, requiring Joseph and his pregnant wife to return to Joseph’s hometown of Bethlehem.  However, unable to find a place at an inn, they settle for the barn.  Jesus is then born and placed in a feeding trough, a manger.  The family then goes to Jerusalem for the traditional naming ceremony.

There’s no Herod, attempted murder, fleeing to Rome or any other element of Matthew’s birth account.  However, there really was a census, just as there really was a Herod.  Both are described in surviving historical documents.  Nevertheless, the timing is off.  The census took place in 6 C.E., 10 years after Herod’s death.  That’s not the only problem with Luke’s imaginative account.

Manger scene

The census was held in Judea when the Romans ousted Herod’s son, who had succeeded his father. However, Joseph and Mary lived in Galilee, an area unaffected by the census.  Then, too, the purpose of a census then was to determine taxable property. Anything Joseph owned was in Galilee, not Judea.  In fact, no one was asked to return to a hometown.  That would have made the census useless.

Both Matthew and Luke wanted to get Jesus to Bethlehem because several prophets had foreseen the next king coming from the line of David, who was born in Bethlehem.  The fourth evangelist, John, rejected that argument: he has a resident of Jesus’ hometown of Nazareth ask how anyone could think Jesus was the next king since he hadn’t been born in Bethlehem. 

John also compounded efforts to date Jesus’ birth by saying Jesus was almost 50, when the other three Gospels list him as close to 30.

Pilate

As a result of this complete mishmash, historians cannot figure when Jesus was born.  Supposedly, he was crucified during the rule of Pontius Pilate, who was Judean governor from 26 to 36.  Count back 30 years, if you follow Matthew, Mark and Luke; 50 years, if you believe John.

But why December 25?

For many years, historians have assumed Christians adopted that date to counter the Roman Saturnalia, a holiday in late December, or the birth of the invincible sun, a popular holiday for a different god.  That one fell exactly on December 25.

There was precedent: all religious holidays gave been borrowed from other sources and given new meanings.  Easter, for example, comes from the Jewish Passover, which comes from the merger of two ancient Egyptian holidays.  Sabbath, too, was borrowed from the Babylonians while the Saturnalia originated in Egypt.

The idea that the Christians were overlaying an existing holiday was the prevailing opinion until recently.  It had been contested by scholars who pointed out that no extant writings from Church Fathers contain any mention of pagan holidays or concern about creating an alternative holiday to counter them.

Artist's view of assumption

As a result, researchers in religious history now suggest that the day occurred naturally.  The Catholic Feast of the Assumption -- which honors Mary’s pregnancy – falls on March 25.  Nine months later would be December 25.  Many Christian sects celebrate Jesus’ birthday as January 6.  It may not be a coincidence that they also celebrate the Feast of Assumption on April 6, exactly nine months earlier.  Unfortunately, there is one serious quibble with this view: while the first references to Christmas date from the 330s, and Christmas wasn’t placed on Dec. 25 until about 20 years later, mentions of the Feast of the Assumption don’t show up until 300 years after that.

Besides, nine months for a pregnancy is an average.  Births rarely occur exactly nine months after conception.

That may mean the celebration of Jesus’ birth created a need for a holiday to mark the pregnancy, not the other way around.

After looking at all the evidence, there’s still no way to determine exactly when Jesus was born.  As such, December 25 is as good a day as any. 

Long-time religious historian Bill Lazarus regularly writes about religion and religious history with an occasional foray into American culture.  He also speaks at various religious organizations throughout Florida.  He holds an ABD in American Studies from Case Western Reserve University and an M.A. in communication from Kent State University.  You can reach him at wplazarus@aol.com. 

 He is the author of the famed novel The Great Seer Nostradamus Tells All as well as The Last Testament of Simon Peter; The Gospel Truth: Where Did the Gospel Writers Get Their Information; Noel: The Lore and Tradition of Christmas Carols; and Comparative Religion for Dummies.  His books are available on Amazon.com, Kindle, bookstores and via various publishers.  He can also be followed on Twitter.